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Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Mom

I have tried to write this blog several times over the past week....I just don't know how to do it, or even if I should. Let me go back...

I started this blog about a year ago as a way to express my love of pop culture, books, gossip and a place to write. I have loved writing since the 7th grade and have always wanted to write a book. As you can see from my limited posts, I haven't been very successful. Here I am, one year later, back in an attempt to re-focus on my blog....but for an entirely different reason. There is no easy way to say it...or even write it.....my Mom, the best person I know, my best friend, has Stage IV Lung Cancer.

My Mom raised me and growing up and even now...it has been me and her against the world. How do we battle this when I can't even think about the future without falling apart?? I am an only child and my 'biological donor' is not in the picture...so this feels so lonely. It sounds selfish, but I am so scared. Scared for me, scared for her, scared for the future, scared for the unknown. I don't even know how to begin to deal.

In some odd way...here I am again back at the blog in an attempt to deal, in an attempt to distract myself, in an attempt to create some new normal, because I feel like my life is forever changed and nothing will be ok again.

In searching for something....I found someone who has faced this evil demon, and says it all in a much better way than I can. Please visit my new bloggie friend Nikki over at Raindrops on Wednesday and read her story.

9 comments:

  1. Cara, I am so sorry for what you and your mom are going through right now. I wish there was something I could say to make it all better. You're in my thoughts and prayers. {HUGS}

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  2. Thanks Jules! It is hard to talk/write about...but am hoping in some way it will be theraputic. I truly believe postive energy/thoughts and prayer works!

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  3. Hi Cara! New follower here. I am so sorry to read about your Mom. I am an only child as well and as selfish as it seems I don't want my parents to leave me all alone in this world. I will keep you and your Mom in my prayers and hope for a turn around. God Bless.

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  4. Hey Cara,
    I was sent your way through some blog friends of mine & I just wanted to let you know that even though you don't know me, if you ever need anything feel free to get in touch with me. My mom passed away this April, so I kind of know what you're going through.
    Ainslee

    ainslee-firstcomesloves.blogpsot.com
    ainsleeblogs@gmail.com

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  5. I'm a new follower just wanted to say that both you and your mom are in my thoughts. Stay strong, stay positive ... Sending virtual hugs your way!

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  6. Thanks everyone for the kind words, I truly do appreciate it. I don't want to be a depressing blog, so I am going to try to keep it light and only post updates as I need to mentally, and to just keep people up to date on how Mom is doing. I am loving the new follower love and will be sure to return the favor!

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  7. I found your blog via a tweet and just wanted to let you know that I totally relate! My grandmother who raised me was just diagnosed with Alziehmers and its been such a scary journey.

    I know that we don't really know eachother but if you ever need to talk or need someone I would be happy to be an ear to listen or a shoulder to cry on, hell call me up screaming and venting (because sometimes that's needed!)

    Much love, you and your Mom are in my prayers!

    xo Teresa
    365teresa@gmail.com

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  8. I'm happy to see that you posted about this, as hard as it is! You can get through it, I promise. It's not easy, but there are lots of people out there who are keeping you guys in our prayers. Hold tight to the present and try not to focus so much on the furture right now and all the "what if's". You'll drive yourself crazy. Stay strong lady! We'll be here in the blog world when you need us. -Nikki

    PS- Glad to see the link to my sight! Thanks! The more people who read it and think twice about smoking, the better!!

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  9. New follower - hope things work out!

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Hey ya'll, I just love reading your feedback! Thanks for stopping by!